Sartorial Survival: 2024 Winter Fashion Report

In 2024, practicality, luxury and killer curves are united in the modern woman’s winter wardrobe. Finally, a woman’s interest in making a fashion statement can also be her key to longevity!

What is IN: Daring Defense Duds!

Stiletto booties are not only trendy they can also double as a weapon! Be sure to place the point of the stiletto directly in your victim’s eye. Precision has never been prettier! 

Homemade fur coats are in!  Not only is fur warm during those heat-free winter nights, they also display your obvious luxurious taste. Mine is a lovely patchwork design of raccoon, woodchuck and one baby panda I wrestled from a Zed one year while helping Mrs. K hunt for Thanksgiving dinner at an abandoned zoo. It is SOOOO snuggly!

Think about how you can modify your weaponry to express your good taste. For instance, gun holsters can be a great personal style statement. While Mrs. K goes for the knitted variety, I prefer my embroidered leather version.

Crochet, weave or quilt yourself a gorgeous go bag . Your most important accessory for survival can also be your perfect style staple! For instance, last spring I added patches to my go bag  from a Burberry scarf I found.

What is OUT: Impractical Apparel!

Do you remember the early days when we accidentally shot so many survivors because their unfortunate clothing choices made them dead ringers for the undead? Yes ladies, bad taste really can kill!

Today anything distressed or with rips, tears and visible stitches are out. It is simply tacky to give your fellow survivors suspicious as to whether or not you were bitten during your last skirmish.  Also ladies, please be sure to avoid any colors that may make you look like ghouls: bone, bile black, entrails green undead-skin grey, dark red blood are all out.

Everyone knows that loose-fitting clothing is a death wish. One recent tragic example is the former Mrs. Silver. Her insistence on wearing a gorgeous vintage Burberry scarf led to her ultimate downfall when a z-head grabbed it during a scuffle last March. She really made for such a pretty zombie; it really was such a shame to have to put her down!

However, have you ever considered the sound your outfit makes? Anything loud can attract unwelcome attention. Rustling fabrics, clanking shoes or clinking jewelry are a fashion faux pas! Remember ladies, you want to attract husbands, not the undead!

Defense has never looked quite so stylish!
Miss E

Need fashion advice?

Please submit your question in the question box attached to the barn… or email us at the.ladies.zombie.handbook@gmail.com

 
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5 thoughts on “Sartorial Survival: 2024 Winter Fashion Report

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