The Secret to Being the Perfect Hostess by Mrs. K

As First Lady, it naturally falls to me to make our living guests feel welcome and at home.  Of course it is important to keep a watchful eye for any signs of cannibal tendencies, thoughts of robbery or any other indecent intentions, but there’s no reason to be rude about it. As Miss E has already informed you, we have two newcomers in our group: Mr. Young Sr. and Mr. Young Jr.  My husband, the Governor, has not yet decided if their stay with us will be permanent or temporary, as he is still assessing the men’s skills and prospective contributions to the group’s welfare.  Nonetheless, I want them to feel as if they are a part of our little family.

I have three simple rules for hosting: keep you guests happy, well-fed and alive.

I start, as one might expect, by finding them proper sleeping quarters. We are lucky that this house has unoccupied rooms (although Miss Petersen is always willing to share her quarters with newcomers, provided they are men).  Blankets and sheets can be hard to come by but I have always found that even a repurposed tablecloth can be look
like Egyptian cotton to a road weary man.  Mr. Wade also skinned and tanned a few deer; the venison stew was delicious and the pelts make lovely extra blankets!  Nothing lifts the spirits like a Zed-free bed to rest one’s head!

We always have a nice meal the first night for our new arrivals. I love to find out their favorite dessert to serve (makes them feel special and especially with menfolk, that’s very important).  Miss E volunteered to make Mr. Young Jr.’s favorite (Indian Pudding).  Unfortunately she was so distracted by the presence of the potential husband, she used the last of the salt instead of sugar!

Finally, at each new house we check the perimeter for zombie hotspots.  I then have the children help me in drawing maps to distribute to each member of the group. Newcomers get a copy upon arrival.  It is a fun reminder that everyone should keep up their guard all time.  Plus, the kids have such fun coloring in the Zeds!

Well, I hope this helps if have folks show up on your doorstep, living folks that is.  For those who are undead, our policy is simple: shoot between the eyes, ask questions later.

Very truly,

Mrs. K

For all inquiries related to the feminine arts, please submit your question in the question box attached to the barn… or email us at

2 thoughts on “The Secret to Being the Perfect Hostess by Mrs. K

  1. Pingback: Cultivating a Pretty Good Bedside Manner: A Guide for Non-Healthcare Professionals | Gracious Living in a Zombie World: A Ladies’ Handbook

  2. Pingback: How to Organize a Beauty Pageant in a Zombie World – Part 1 of 3 | Gracious Living in a Zombie World: A Ladies’ Handbook

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