The holidays are my favorite time of year. The songs, the parties, the food and the presents – it all fills my heart with such joy! Cookies are my go-to gift for most of the folks in our little family. Everyone enjoys a good reindeer-shaped sugar cookie after all! However, there is one person in my life who I feel deserves much more than cookies: my husband, our governor, Mr. K.

If you’ll indulge me, I love to tell the story of how we met this time of year in 2019. I was still in DC at the time, having been stranded there during a visit to a (now deceased) college friend. One day in late December I found myself outside, unarmed and quickly surrounded by a small horde of zombies (a striking number of whom were wearing running shorts). I had just lost my rifle and my lone companion in a drawn out confrontation with this pack of zeds. As they closed in, from somewhere behind the approaching horde, I caught sight of the reassuring glint of an axe head. Before I knew it, I had 12 dead zombies at my feet and handsome man grabbing my hand to lead me to safety. He’s my Christmas hero.

We spent three days in his safe house before moving out of the infested urban environment for the relative peace of Virginia.  Let me tell you, a lady never kisses and tells, but those three days just about made the whole undead uprising worth it!

So, this time of year I always want to go the extra mile for my babycakes. I hope the ideas in this gift guide can help you find something for the special gentleman in your life.

1. Avoid anything practical: Look, in this new world, practical items are always appreciated. Who has not teared up a little when a good friend gives you the last of their toilet paper for Christmas? Or jumped for joy at a quiver of hand-carved arrows for your birthday? But your spouse is different. Get your special someone something that would never get for themselves; something that would bring them joy, like the 1966 Gibson SG I salvaged from a music shop for the second Christmas the Governor and I spent together.

2. Handmade is good: Handmade gifts show that you put in the thought (and have a useful skill that will keep you in good favor with the rest of the survivor group). Handwoven baskets, knitted socks, or charcoal pens for the artist in your life are just a few examples. Note that charcoal should never be sourced from a fire used for burning zeds.

3. Something saucy: The Governor has responded most enthusiastically to some of the gifts I have given him in the privacy of our sleeping chamber. Hand blended scented oil and a festively decorated ‘coupon’ for a sensual massage, especially if you deliver it decked out in a knitted negligee, will definitely make his season bright.

We’re giving away a bit of Christmas cheer ourselves in the coming weeks. Send us your post-panic gift ideas for the special someone in your life to us at: the.ladies.zombie.handbook@gmail.com. The winner will receive a very special autographed CD recording of one of our favorite new world Christmas tunes, “Moany the Znowman” sung by Miss E herself! We’ll post the winning entry and a viewable version of the song on Monday, December 17th.

Very truly,

Mrs. K