Over the past four days, nearly all of the adults in my survival shelter have come down with the flu save for Mr. Silver and myself. Since Mr. Silver is useless in everything that does not involve origami and/or tea drinking, this means that I’ve been the resident nurse while the colony recovers.
Caretaking is deeply boring work. Not only do I dislike nursing others, it also means far more chores for me to do while they lie around. Plus these patients are so needy! It amazes me these people ever survived the apocalypse. They never stop complaining or asking for things. If I hear “Miss E, can you please hand me my barf bag?” or “Miss E, may I have a cup of water? I haven’t had anything to drink all day.” one more time, I’ll scream!
That is why I decided to create a chicken soup recipe in order to quickly get these dead-beat sickos off of my care.
Miss E’s Feelin’ Shitty Chicken Soup Recipe
What you’ll need:
3 cups of stock and/or broth
¾ lb of chicken, cut up (pigeon will do in a pinch!)
1 cup onion
1 cup of celery
1 cup of carrots
½ to 1 cup amount of peas or other vegetable you have lying around
As much garlic as you like (powder or chopped)
1 bunch rosemary
Salt and pepper to taste
Here’s how you do it:
1. Stir fry the chicken, garlic, onions, carrots and celery together until chicken is cooked.
2. Throw in the peas.
3. Add the broth and rosemary.
4. Let simmer for 10 minutes.
5. Add salt and pepper to taste.
What is the secret ingredient, you may ask? Extra resentment!
Yours (in sickness and in health),
PS: Don’t worry– I’ve quarantined Little Maude in the basement to make sure she stays snot-free for the beauty pageant this Friday!
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