Scurvy: The Acne of the Apocalypse

Scurvy used to be a scourge for sailors, pirates and basically anyone foolish enough to hang out in a boat without access to citrus fruits for any length of time. It has reappeared as a serious issue for many in our post-panic times due to the lack of fruits and vegetables in the average diet.

Most important to our readers, scurvy isn’t pretty. How ever will you find a husband when suffering from bad skin, tooth loss, gum decay and sunken eyes? The other symptoms (bone sensitivity, tiredness and, ultimately, death) aren’t very attractive either.

Luckily there is an easy cure to scurvy: Vitamin C. As Mr. K mentioned recently, we’ve avoided scurvy in our survivor group by following certain dietary principles. During the winter it can be so difficult to get your hands on fruits and vegetables.  Obviously, you should be canning your produce during the summer and fall.  But if you have no canned produce due to a sudden move after a zombie attack, you may have to be creative.

Lucky for you I have the key to preventing this unsightly affliction. If your local pharmacy is freshly raided out of  multi-vitamins, here are some surprising Vitamin C rich resources for you to munch on:

  • Liver of almost any kind of animal (pig, lamb, deer, cow)
  • Lamb brain, tongue and heart
  • Goat, cow and human milk
  • Calf adrenals (glands found right above the kidneys, perfect for a light lunch!)
  • Raw oysters (if you find yourself on the coast)
  • Whale skin (if you find yourself in the Arctic)

In addition to helping prevent scurvy, these meats will help you thicken your waistline for that fashionably plump figure. Now go on and snack your way to attracting the man of your dreams!

Your Scurvy Free,
Miss E

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5 thoughts on “Scurvy: The Acne of the Apocalypse

  1. Pingback: Eat Your Veggies: A Guide to Basement Gardening | Gracious Living in a Zombie World: A Ladies’ Handbook

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