With all of those late nights running from zombies, worrying about cannibal attacks, and protecting your toilet paper stash from untrustworthy fellow survivors, it really is difficult to get a wink in, let alone a proper nine hours! Along with compassionate clinicians, children, and the elderly, those people who slept soundest were very early weeded … Continue reading
Dearest Readers, Last Thursday I promised you all an explanation for why we’ve been out of touch. Here is how it happened. Do you remember Mr. Young Jr.? He was my romantic interest last November before getting kicked out by Mr. K in January due to his inability to, well… contribute. We hoped we had … Continue reading
Dearest readers, Well the colony has had to hit the road once again. Next Monday we’ll explain the reasons for having to abandon our plantation home and head west in a great hurry. (Spoiler alert: it wasn’t the zombies made us flee.) So far we haven’t found a home and Mr. K says it could … Continue reading
After March 3, 2019 when the world ended, I ran south from my home in DC to Alexandria and Arlington. I lived there for six months, trying to make a go at it on my own. This was before I met up with Mrs. K (nee Miss W). At the time I considered these northern … Continue reading
Our colony has been busy as a beehive the past few weeks! Last week I was on a scouting mission with Mr. K, Mr. Wade (a former engineer and our group’s main handyman) and Mr. Caputo to find a new safe haven for our survivor group since we determined our current one is dangerously close … Continue reading
On March 3rd we celebrate a new world holiday called “Great Panic Remembrance Day.” Well, celebrate is a misleading word. The end of the world as we knew it in 2019 is hardly a happy moment in history to commemorate. I have an etiquette rule about never talking about the past but in the spirit of the holiday, … Continue reading
You asked and we answered! Below are frequently asked questions about zombies. Q. Do zombies have food allergies? Zeds do not have food allergies. When the dead become undead, all personal qualities such as allergies, bad eyesight and favorite movies are replaced by a craving for flesh. Besides, even if you had just finished a … Continue reading
The Gracious Ladies are now on Facebook! Of course it seems quaintly “pre-panic” now but sometimes the old ways are still the best. Join us here. We’ll post helpful quick tips, announce contests and share the work of some of our favorite folks also writing about the great struggle against the undead hordes! Sincerely, Mrs. … Continue reading
“A mentsh zol leben shoin nor fun neigerikeit vegen. (A man should stay alive if only out of curiosity.)” – Yiddish saying Shalom! My name is Mrs. Federlin and I am the unofficial rabbi in the colony. Mrs. K and Miss E asked me to tell the truly miraculous tale of my family’s last Chanukah celebration. I would not … Continue reading
This post was guest edited by the writers of Because Whatever. Happy Thanksgiving! There has never been a merrier holiday for our band of survivors, thanks in no small part to Mrs. K’s mystery poultry, mashed turnips and multitude of pies. During the festivities, we took turns listing the things that we are most thankful … Continue reading
Gracious Living in a Zombie World: A Ladies’ Handbook 